On Potty Training, the Three-Point Line, and Disinfecting Wipes

This potty training thing has certainly proven to be a process of trial and error for both child and parent.

I imagine it’s easiest teaching a boy to first master using the pot from a seated position for all his purposes. 

Inevitably though, a boy is going to begin experimenting with peeing standing up.  It’s in our nature and I usually get some strange sense of pride to know that my son is learning to pee like a man already….usually.

 However, my toddler just attempted a skill shot from about four and a half feet back; a place at the very edge of our bathroom that will now be forever referred to as the three point line. 

It was an attempt the likes of which I have never seen performed by a sober person. 

Believe me, I tried to stop him, but by the time I realized what he was going to do, it was already too late.

There was a moment; a proud astonished moment where (while looking completely relaxed as if he’d performed this amazing feat a thousand times) the trajectory had been estimated perfectly, arcing in; nothing but net. 

Then he got cocky.  A slight sway of the hips that began turning an otherwise glorious moment to chaos and then a panicked over-correcting that marred this day with tragedy.

My foot was peed upon. 

Everything was peed upon. 

This is why disinfecting wipes exist.  If you’re a parent, get some.  Keep them handy. 

This will happen to you.